10 February 2017

My Current Struggle With Creativity

Since the start of this year, I have felt so much creativity and inspiration come to me but not once have I actually done anything about it or acted on any of these thoughts at all.

This is really difficult for me because all I seem to be doing is reading and listening and looking at things all to do with creativity and people's stories about how they embraced creativity, yet I don't seem able to do anything about it at all. I just continue to stare at all these inspiring people and their stories, yet unable to begin my own story.

I know that really until the end of June I need to focus solely on A levels so that I can get the best grades possible and therefore achieve anything I want to beyond that. I'm not sure if this is what is holding me back from doing anything creative at all but I feel like it could be. I feel like if I tried to do something creative with my time, that I should be spending that time studying instead because after A levels I have the whole rest of my life to be creative.

After A levels, I have a really long summer break and then an entire year before going off to university (if I get the grades *fingers crossed*). During this time, I know I will embrace my creativity and use my time productively to start all the creative projects I keep thinking of and I can't wait to see what I can create when I really focus myself on creativity. My goal for my gap year is definitely to consume much much less than I create because I know this will be good for me to create my best work.

I am simply finding it frustrating that until July, I feel like I cannot do anything creative at all because creative ideas are what fills my mind when my A level studying doesn't as it is such a huge part of me and my personality. I have always felt like a creative person but have always been able to put my education first. The school system hasn't fully allowed me to combine the two, so hopefully having a whole year with no school will help me get back to my honest creative self.

I wanted to just share this on my blog because then my thoughts are out in the open and I can maybe start to do something about them. The proof of my struggle with creativity at the moment is now online for the whole world to hold me to account when I continue to do nothing about my creative urges.

Wish me luck in conquering creativity.