Ordinary Encounters with Sex
People sometimes forget in the taboo surrounding sex and nudity, that actually, it is a lot more commonplace than they realise. Sex and the naked body hasn't always been as taboo as it is nowadays and used to be something to be proud of but now people are shunned for talking about it, expressing their sexuality, going to a naturist place or doing sex work. I find this contradiction funny and it inspired me to think of all the ways that sex and nudity do actually enter our ordinary lives and we don't think otherwise about it.
I'm not sure how I feel, as a feminist, about some of these examples but they are definitely real life and I think that one of the first ways to start tackling the way we talk about something or feel about something is to first acknowledge it. No one really acknowledges these ordinary encounters with sex and nudity, therefore no one can address how they feel about them. Let alone fix the patriarchal message and societal discrimination behind them.
Guys get boners in class. They do get embarrassed, faces suddenly a beacon of red, and uncomfortable when it’s pointed out by the lads at the back with some laughter, but it’s normal. We don’t question it much, we know they can’t help it. We move on. Laughing next at the way the teacher is glaring at us for our blatant immaturity.
Holiday postcards plastered with bottoms and boobs. Everywhere you go, different countries, different shops. The ones selling postcards always reserve some space for some seaside, lakeside, riverside nudity. I have never understood this phenomenon. I still don't plan on sending my grandma a picture of bottoms or boobs. I'm not quite sure who they're intended for at all.
Everyone draws penises everywhere. The variety of drawn penises is probably as great as the variety of real penises out there. Of course, I don’t know, I wouldn’t know. I’ve only seen a few. And the variety of places you may notice them is just as great. Painted with spray paint up walls of serious professional looking buildings; drawn in biro over your mate's school books, small, so he’s only likely to notice after the teacher has; etched into wooden bookshelves at the quiet city library.
Stone statues stark naked standing proud in museum cabinets. Children run right to them, reaching up to them, pointing in shock. “Don’t you have one of those, daddy?” “How come we wear clothes, mum?” It makes no sense to them. They have spent all of their little life being taught to keep their bodies within layers of fabric no matter the weather. The museum lady standing beside the exhibit feels as awkward as the parents, one guardian of an unclothed piece of marble, the other guardian of an unrestrained young mind.
Dick pics sent through phones. The phone screens shone in best friends’ faces causing expressions of shock and exclamations of horror or curiousity. “How big is it?” “How old are they?” “Why is that the opening to the conversation?” Mumbled questions rushed together, unsure why this is so normal yet not even asked for. Especially as girls couldn’t send anything back. Now that would be outrageous certainly.
Comments