Navigating the start of my twenties


There is something I have recently noticed about me and all of my peers, something that groups us together but also sets us apart as individuals. It probably sounds silly or obvious or just irrelevant but this is my space so I want to talk about this anyway.

I've noticed myself and through reading and watching things about people around my age or reminiscing about being my age that it is such a different time of life to any other. When you're a kid, everyone is at school and everyone lives with some of their family. When you're really old (I'm kidding), everyone is kind of settled in life. They know their place, in a profession, within a family or friend group, or just in the world. What's sets my age group apart is that we aren't all living the same stage of our lives and we're struggling to figure out what our place in the world may be.

I like and hate this concept. We're all in the same boat, yet all our boats are so dramatically different.

It can be reassuring because everything is kind of accepted, wherever you are in life is okay. But also it can be scary because some people may seem so much further along in life than you are and you just want to rush to catch up. Thinking you're falling behind is a losing game though, as we've discussed, no one's really at the same stage in their life anyway. 

It's fascinating to see some people marry, some people are single, some have kids, some are virgins, some date, some don't. Some live at home, some live at university or in their own family home. Some are at school, some have jobs, some are unemployed, some are juggling multiple ventures, others are struggling through the one endeavour. Some have hobbies that fill their spare time, others have side hustles, some just collapse on the sofa after a hard day's work. Some have money - family money, saved money, earned money - some really don't have any.

But nothing is wrong or unacceptable about any of it. It's the start of adulthood. This is what it's meant to look like. It's messy and it's complicated and from the outside, it just looks like a complete shambles. What emerges are adults who learn who they are through all this long and winding journey of their twenties and into their thirties. 

I like to think that they uncertain stage in my life kind of has some purpose or reason so that it feels less like walking in circles. I am definitely not at the same stage of some people in my life but I think I am starting to feel okay about it and that it really doesn't matter if my journey happens in a different order or just much slower than theirs. I know people who have already graduated and others who feel ready to move into houses with their partners; these things don't apply to me but it definitely doesn't mean I've done anything wrong.

I feel like I have written a lot about being a young adult recently but I guess that makes sense. This is the time where I'm trying to figure out my life, how life in general works and what the hell I'm doing next in this journey so at least for me it warrants being talked about. I just hope it doesn't feel repetitive, but I guess it shouldn't because some people will feel the same and others won't and that again is the beauty of being the same age as others but being at dramatically different points in your own lives.

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I also want to remind everyone to keep educating themselves, signing petitions, donating and having hard conversations about black lives matter and any other social issues that are urgently in need of awareness.

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